Now that we know for sure that we aren't having anymore babies, we're both kind of antsy to get all the baby stuff out of the house. As soon as Amanda finishes using something, it's out the door. I sold her Jumparoo when she refused to get in it anymore and my beloved baby food maker shipped out last week.
It's funny because, besides the Jumparoo, most of it wasn't taking up that much space. Not physically anyway. We had six years worth of Andy's clothes in the attic, waiting to find out if we were going to have another boy. Now that we don't need them, they are all tagged and ready to go on Friday to a huge consignment sale that is in Fort Worth this weekend. Anything that wasn't good enough for the sale is going to a Leukemia and Lymphoma clothing drive on Tuesday, and anything that was too good is going to eBay. You laugh, but it's been going quite well. If only I wasn't so lazy and undisciplined it would be even better.
So I've been emptying big Rubbermaid tubs that have been sitting in the attic and getting rid of all the baby equipment. It's been kind of nostalgic, remembering certain outfits and things we did or places we went when he was wearing them. I found his "Baby's First Hanukkah" bodysuit that I couldn't find with either of the girls and wished Amanda could still wear it. Found hats and t-shirts and all these things that remind me of simpler days when Andy was little and cute and just one baby and not argumentative and always right and three kids.
As I said, it's not the physical space all that stuff takes up. It's the mental space. The what ifs (What if we have another baby? What if it's a boy?), the maybes (Maybe we should keep this just in case...maybe we'll need this if x happens) and the I don't knows (I don't know if I want to buy a new one or if we can use the one we have...I don't know if this will be out of date or still in style). Not that we are finally done with the family planning stage of our lives, some of that mental space is being freed up. It's not sad to get rid of these things we've saved for so long, it's freeing. It's almost an addiction. What else can we expel from the house? It's the thought of being organized, simplifying, making space for bigger and better things.
I'm not rushing, don't get me wrong. Although I have my issues with the kids and have days when I struggle more than others, I also have tons of great days and don't want to skip through this time. Especially because everybody I meet tells me to enjoy them while they are young and they just get more difficult with harder problems as they get older. It's just that we know who we are a little more. We are a family of five, one boy and two girls. We are leaving the baby stage. It's been fun, but there is so much more we can do. Pretty soon Amanda will be able to do and handle more and thus our family will as well. There is less uncertainty about where we are going and what we will be. Now it's just time to enjoy the ride and see where it takes us.
Sure, we still need to plan for college and make sure the kids are heading in the right direction with all their activities and keep them out of trouble. I'm sure that will take plenty of my mental capacity. But for a little while, before they get too old and our lives are even crazier, we can just focus on who we are right now and the family that we want to be moving forward. No what ifs or maybes or I don't knows. Just now. My house being less cluttered will be the icing on the cake.
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