10 Down, 50 To Go

Yesterday was Charlie and my 10th anniversary. 10 years. It's funny, because in some ways it seems like we only got married yesterday. I remember our wedding so vividly. Okay, so there's a ton of stuff I don't remember from that day because let's face it, my memory stinks, but there are plenty of things I do remember and it seems like it just happened. On the other hand, it's hard to remember life without Charlie. I mean, I remember a few things from high school and college and I know he wasn't there, and then we met a year after I got out of college. So I guess there wasn't much "real life" without Charlie. He has always been there.

The last 1o years have gone by in a flash. Some fun trips, a few kids, a couple of houses (not at the same time of course) and all of a sudden here we are 10 years later. The crazy part is that I like him even more now than I did then. At the time I couldn't have imagined that even being possible, but that me had never seen him as a father and didn't truly know what a hard-working, proud person he was. My dad always jokes that he didn't marry his best friend because he does stuff with my mom that he would never want to do with his friends (thanks dad, TMI, I don't even want those images in my head), but that's not the case with us. Part of the reason that Charlie and I have done so well over the last 10 years, and the 4 1/2 that we dated, is because he is my best friend. He always knows how to make me laugh, and I do still laugh at his corny jokes, and we genuinely have fun together. We've never had major issues in our relationship, mainly because we have very good communication (at the insistence of my intelligent husband), but all couples get into a funk here and there. There's nothing quite wrong, but things just aren't right. Even we have times like that, and that's when our friendship pulls us through and paves the way for everything else.

I can't imagine my life without Charlie, and hope that I never have to. A few years ago, a woman named Ayelet Waldman wrote an article for The New York Times about how she loved her husband more than her four children. She took a ton of slack for this article. People thought she was crazy and a horrible mother for even thinking this way. Most people I know would give up their husband for their children any day without question. I, on the other hand, understand where she is coming from. When people play that little game of who would you save if you could only pick one, I can never decide between Charlie and the kids. Most women think this is a no brainer and pick the kids, I can't say that. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. No matter how much they drive me crazy I love them more than words can say. I begged for them all, carried them nine months, delivered them (two naturally), nursed them, gave up countless hours of sleep for them and still do every little thing for them today. I would do anything for them, except give up Charlie. He is the love of my life and I am so thankful everyday that he is a part of it.

All that being said, here's the humor with the big anniversary. The traditional 10 year anniversary gift is tin or aluminum. Did you know that? I bet April and John do. They are my cool friends who actually give each other an anniversary gift each year that follows the traditional gift guide. April says it makes them much more creative and thoughtful in their gift giving. I'm sure that's true when you have to give a gift made out of tin. Well, we don't follow the traditional gifts. In fact, our gifts to each other this year were very nontraditional. Charlie gave me a day off to go shopping with a friend for the entire day, without the kids. That may not sound like much, but it is huge. I never get to go shopping by myself and just being away from the kids for the day is a major destress. It was heavenly and I had a great time. I gave Charlie something similar. Two tickets to a Miami Dolphins game for him and one of his friends. Right on the 50 yard line (please overlook the fact that they are really, really high up, did I mention it was the 50 yard line?). He hasn't been to a Dolphins game in years and with the kids it's almost impossible. He will have a blast. So the humor is that we gave each other gifts to do something with someone else, but not together. Some people might be concerned by that, but a friend told me it's a sign of two people in a strong, mature relationship. I'm going to stick with that answer.

Don't worry, that's not all. Tomorrow my saintly friend, Bren, is coming over to watch the kids so that we can spend a night on the town celebrating our anniversary. She is the closest thing we have to family here and she always comes through. Not only is she going to watch the kids, but she is also going to spend the night so that we can stay in a hotel and enjoy an evening that is truly alone and void of anyone crying or needing to go to the bathroom of having a nightmare. Priceless. So in the end we will celebrate together and cherish the years we have had and start to build the memories that we will recount on anniversaries to come.