"Andy, you got your smell on my pants."
-Sarah, complaining that Andy smelled and that after rubbing against her now she smelled. I made sure he took a shower this evening.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Caffeine
I was driving home today after picking Sarah up from school, trying to stay focused on the road. You see even though Amanda is now sleeping through the night (most of the time) and I'm not getting up with her on a regular basis, I'm still not getting enough sleep. Now, instead of going to bed at 11p, our regular bedtime has been creeping closer and closer to midnight, and maybe surpassing it several nights a week as well.
So I was driving and thinking about what I could do to get more energy. Oh, I thought, I'll grab a caffeine-free Diet Coke when I get home. Maybe the fake sugar will give me a little lift. Then it hit me. I'm not nursing anymore. I can drink REAL Diet Coke. You know, the stuff with caffeine in it.
What, you ask, you don't drink caffeine? Nope. Not at all. I never was a coffee drinker because I saw what it did to my mom growing up and I cut most of it out when I was trying to get pregnant with Amanda and then cut it out completely when I did get pregnant. Then after she was born I didn't drink it because I have a very bad story about when I accidentally drank a large glass of Root Beer that I thought was caffeine-free when Andy was six days old and I will never, ever do that again. So I haven't had caffeine for a very long time.
Let me tell you, it was awesome. I only drank one, because even though it was only 2p I didn't want to be up all night, but it was amazing. My afternoon was so much clearer, I was so focused, so awake.
A silver lining to the I'm so sad I'm not nursing feeling. I may be over it.
So I was driving and thinking about what I could do to get more energy. Oh, I thought, I'll grab a caffeine-free Diet Coke when I get home. Maybe the fake sugar will give me a little lift. Then it hit me. I'm not nursing anymore. I can drink REAL Diet Coke. You know, the stuff with caffeine in it.
What, you ask, you don't drink caffeine? Nope. Not at all. I never was a coffee drinker because I saw what it did to my mom growing up and I cut most of it out when I was trying to get pregnant with Amanda and then cut it out completely when I did get pregnant. Then after she was born I didn't drink it because I have a very bad story about when I accidentally drank a large glass of Root Beer that I thought was caffeine-free when Andy was six days old and I will never, ever do that again. So I haven't had caffeine for a very long time.
Let me tell you, it was awesome. I only drank one, because even though it was only 2p I didn't want to be up all night, but it was amazing. My afternoon was so much clearer, I was so focused, so awake.
A silver lining to the I'm so sad I'm not nursing feeling. I may be over it.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Kid Quote of the Day
"Do you want to make me sad or leave Andy at school?"
-Sarah, who was crying because Andy got picked up from school before she did because he had a half-day.
-Sarah, who was crying because Andy got picked up from school before she did because he had a half-day.
Closing Up Shop
Do you know how I know I am completely done having babies? I know I've said I am, but do you want to know how I know I am? It's simple, really. When I used to see a pregnant woman, and believe me, when you have little kids you see them everywhere--pre-school, elementary school, Target, grocery store, gymnastics and every other activity the kids go to, EVERYWHERE--I would get all sad and mopey and want to be pregnant and think about what life would be like with another baby. Now I just look at them and think, "thank God it isn't me".
You see, family planning didn't come easy for us. I got pregnant with Andy in a flash so I assumed that would be the case with all of my children. When we finally decided to start trying for number two it took a year and a half with the assistance of a crazy, quacky doctor. I can't discredit him 100%, because he did get me pregnant, but I would not recommend him to anyone. Then, with number three, it took me about a year to convince Charlie it was a good idea (which now I'm starting to see why he didn't think it really was) and then almost a year of trying before we got Amanda. So, it was a lot of work, and I spent a lot of time staring at pregnant women in angst. So it just amazes me now that when I see someone who is going to have a baby instead of wishing it was me I can just say, "oh, look, a pregnant woman, it must really suck to be her right now".
Hand in hand with that, is the termination of nursing Amanda. It's funny. With Andy I only did it for six months and then it was just too hard to work and pump and nurse. With Sarah I did it for a year but as soon as the doctor told me she could have milk I gave it to her and cut her off immediately. I was so done. With Amanda, it's just different. Maybe because she's my last one, maybe because she finds it very comforting, maybe because when I'm in a pinch and I haven't fed my daughter (unfortunately with our crazy schedule this happens more than I would like) I can nurse her to tide her over a couple of hours. I don't know what it is this time, what exactly is different, but I am very sad to stop nursing.
It's not like I nurse her all the time. By the time she hit a year she was only nursing 3-4 times a day. Once the doctor said I could give her milk I stopped nursing her during the day and only nursed first thing in the morning and before bed. The last week or two it's only been at bed, and last night I stopped. Sigh. My parents are coming next week to watch the kids while we go on a work trip of Charlie's. When we asked them they were happy to come, but my mom kept asking, "Are you going to wean the baby?". She has a valid point, it's not really fair to leave a nursing baby with Grandma. I know she has different expectations from Mommy than Grandma, but we'll be gone for four days. She needs to be done. I know she needs to stop, and I'm doing it, I'm just not happy about it. It makes me sad. It's that one special bond that we still had, the time when she wanted nobody except Mommy, and now it's over.
So our baby stage is coming to a close. Maybe that's why I'm so sad. No more babies. Only kids, who yell and talk back and hit and fight and...tell you they love you. Amanda won't nurse anymore, but when I ask her for a kiss she'll give me a nice open-mouthed tonguefess and a great big hug too. She runs to the door when Charlie comes home, just like the big kids, and giggles when you tickle her and roll around on the floor. She's turning into one fun little kid. I'll get past the sadness, because with this sadness also comes freedom and maybe even the ability to get back into shape, and there are so many good things yet to come.
You see, family planning didn't come easy for us. I got pregnant with Andy in a flash so I assumed that would be the case with all of my children. When we finally decided to start trying for number two it took a year and a half with the assistance of a crazy, quacky doctor. I can't discredit him 100%, because he did get me pregnant, but I would not recommend him to anyone. Then, with number three, it took me about a year to convince Charlie it was a good idea (which now I'm starting to see why he didn't think it really was) and then almost a year of trying before we got Amanda. So, it was a lot of work, and I spent a lot of time staring at pregnant women in angst. So it just amazes me now that when I see someone who is going to have a baby instead of wishing it was me I can just say, "oh, look, a pregnant woman, it must really suck to be her right now".
Hand in hand with that, is the termination of nursing Amanda. It's funny. With Andy I only did it for six months and then it was just too hard to work and pump and nurse. With Sarah I did it for a year but as soon as the doctor told me she could have milk I gave it to her and cut her off immediately. I was so done. With Amanda, it's just different. Maybe because she's my last one, maybe because she finds it very comforting, maybe because when I'm in a pinch and I haven't fed my daughter (unfortunately with our crazy schedule this happens more than I would like) I can nurse her to tide her over a couple of hours. I don't know what it is this time, what exactly is different, but I am very sad to stop nursing.
It's not like I nurse her all the time. By the time she hit a year she was only nursing 3-4 times a day. Once the doctor said I could give her milk I stopped nursing her during the day and only nursed first thing in the morning and before bed. The last week or two it's only been at bed, and last night I stopped. Sigh. My parents are coming next week to watch the kids while we go on a work trip of Charlie's. When we asked them they were happy to come, but my mom kept asking, "Are you going to wean the baby?". She has a valid point, it's not really fair to leave a nursing baby with Grandma. I know she has different expectations from Mommy than Grandma, but we'll be gone for four days. She needs to be done. I know she needs to stop, and I'm doing it, I'm just not happy about it. It makes me sad. It's that one special bond that we still had, the time when she wanted nobody except Mommy, and now it's over.
So our baby stage is coming to a close. Maybe that's why I'm so sad. No more babies. Only kids, who yell and talk back and hit and fight and...tell you they love you. Amanda won't nurse anymore, but when I ask her for a kiss she'll give me a nice open-mouthed tonguefess and a great big hug too. She runs to the door when Charlie comes home, just like the big kids, and giggles when you tickle her and roll around on the floor. She's turning into one fun little kid. I'll get past the sadness, because with this sadness also comes freedom and maybe even the ability to get back into shape, and there are so many good things yet to come.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Kid's Quote of the Day
"Daddy, was your vacation fun?"
-Sarah, after we picked up Charlie at the airport from a business trip. He tried to explain to her that he wasn't on vacation, but he was in a hotel away from the kids for a few days. Sounds like a vacation to me.
-Sarah, after we picked up Charlie at the airport from a business trip. He tried to explain to her that he wasn't on vacation, but he was in a hotel away from the kids for a few days. Sounds like a vacation to me.
Time to Make the Donuts
Remember that Dunkin' Donuts commercial they used to show in the late 70s early 80s? The one where the man used to get up at some ungodly hour when it was still really dark day after day after day and each time he would say, "time to make the donuts". The point of the commercial was that that guy got up every morning to make fresh donuts for you so you didn't have to, rain or shine (he was like the mailman of donuts) and they would always be there. Okay so now a days people don't eat that many donuts, you know, because they make you fat (I guess people weren't aware of it then) and sugar is bad (did they really not know or did they just not care?), but that's not really the point.
Sometimes, okay a lot of times, I feel like that donut man. I even get out of bed in my half-asleep state and mumble, "time to make the donuts". Andy has heard me say this and always looks at me confused and says, "What donuts? You're going to make donuts?". I get up at some crazy hour, and do the same thing everyday. It doesn't change. Okay, what we do changes, because sometimes we go to gymnastics instead of yoga, but it's the same routine and crap day in and day out. Wake up with Amanda super early, today I got to sleep in until 6a, but yesterday it was 5a, try with no success to get her to go back to sleep, eventually give up and bring her into the bathroom where I shower or talk to Charlie while he showers (our bathroom is ridiculously large, you would have to see it to believe it). Get Sarah dressed and fed and off to wherever she needs to go, run errands or do laundry or pretend to half-assed pick up the house, stare in amazement that it's already time to go get Sarah, go get Andy, and go to whatever activity we have after school that day. Come home from said activity, bathe the girls, make dinner, wait anxiously for Charlie to get home so we can eat and put the kids to bed, spend a couple hours doing who knows what and then going to bed much later than we should. Six to seven hours later it starts again.
I'm not complaining, or I'm not trying to. I have a pretty great life and am very fortunate to be able to stay home with my kids. It just seems like sometimes it's all going by in a blur. I'd like to stop and enjoy this time with the kids, but we're too busy moving on to the next activity. Granted, I have nobody else to blame but myself. I'm the one who makes our schedule and puts the kids in everything. Charlie puts his two cents in here and there, but generally leaves it up to me. I'm not trying to drive myself crazy, I just want to give the kids opportunities. Give them a chance to figure out their strengths and what they are good at, as well as what they really like to do (for example, Andy loves to play basketball, but that does not mean he's good at it). I'd like to think there's nothing wrong with this approach, it's just tiring.
The hard part is the kid's don't really appreciate it and won't for so long. I didn't really appreciate all that my parents did for me until I had kids of my own and then realized how ungrateful children really are. Parenthood really is a thankless job. You know, just like donut making. Nobody truly appreciates the really good donut makes, they just take them for granted. Seriously, hopefully someday the kids will look back at all they have gotten to do and all the things they have experienced and realize that Mom and Dad weren't so bad after all. Until then, we'll just keep doing our thing and I'll try not to get into too much of a rut. Who knows, in a few years I may get to sleep for hours at night and then I'll actually have the strength and energy to make real donuts (except we won't be able to eat them because donuts are so, so bad for you).
Sometimes, okay a lot of times, I feel like that donut man. I even get out of bed in my half-asleep state and mumble, "time to make the donuts". Andy has heard me say this and always looks at me confused and says, "What donuts? You're going to make donuts?". I get up at some crazy hour, and do the same thing everyday. It doesn't change. Okay, what we do changes, because sometimes we go to gymnastics instead of yoga, but it's the same routine and crap day in and day out. Wake up with Amanda super early, today I got to sleep in until 6a, but yesterday it was 5a, try with no success to get her to go back to sleep, eventually give up and bring her into the bathroom where I shower or talk to Charlie while he showers (our bathroom is ridiculously large, you would have to see it to believe it). Get Sarah dressed and fed and off to wherever she needs to go, run errands or do laundry or pretend to half-assed pick up the house, stare in amazement that it's already time to go get Sarah, go get Andy, and go to whatever activity we have after school that day. Come home from said activity, bathe the girls, make dinner, wait anxiously for Charlie to get home so we can eat and put the kids to bed, spend a couple hours doing who knows what and then going to bed much later than we should. Six to seven hours later it starts again.
I'm not complaining, or I'm not trying to. I have a pretty great life and am very fortunate to be able to stay home with my kids. It just seems like sometimes it's all going by in a blur. I'd like to stop and enjoy this time with the kids, but we're too busy moving on to the next activity. Granted, I have nobody else to blame but myself. I'm the one who makes our schedule and puts the kids in everything. Charlie puts his two cents in here and there, but generally leaves it up to me. I'm not trying to drive myself crazy, I just want to give the kids opportunities. Give them a chance to figure out their strengths and what they are good at, as well as what they really like to do (for example, Andy loves to play basketball, but that does not mean he's good at it). I'd like to think there's nothing wrong with this approach, it's just tiring.
The hard part is the kid's don't really appreciate it and won't for so long. I didn't really appreciate all that my parents did for me until I had kids of my own and then realized how ungrateful children really are. Parenthood really is a thankless job. You know, just like donut making. Nobody truly appreciates the really good donut makes, they just take them for granted. Seriously, hopefully someday the kids will look back at all they have gotten to do and all the things they have experienced and realize that Mom and Dad weren't so bad after all. Until then, we'll just keep doing our thing and I'll try not to get into too much of a rut. Who knows, in a few years I may get to sleep for hours at night and then I'll actually have the strength and energy to make real donuts (except we won't be able to eat them because donuts are so, so bad for you).
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Kid Quote of the Day
"I like both better than the outside of beans."
-Sarah, declaring she likes both chocolate and caramel Jello pudding mousse better than her green beans. Duh.
-Sarah, declaring she likes both chocolate and caramel Jello pudding mousse better than her green beans. Duh.
In the Thick of Things
When Amanda started crawling she decided she wanted to be part of the action. She did not want to be one of those sit back and watch babies, she wanted to be right in the middle of things. That is why her favorite place to hang out is the steps. For a baby, that means danger. It's exciting and different and Mommy and Daddy don't want you on there, therefore it is the place for me. She's like this with everything. She has to sit on the couch and crawl all over it, she can't just stand next to it. She has to climb on top of the picnic table in the living room (long story but Sarah got it for her birthday in MAY and we haven't quite put it in the backyard yet), she can't just sit on the seat. Amanda likes to get into things.
She loves to be around the big kids, and do what they are doing. She and Sarah have a blast climbing up on Sarah's bed and rolling all over with the stuffed animals. Sarah has a gate, if that's what you call it, on her bed, but Amanda still seems to be able to find the holes and get stuck or almost fall off. That does not stop her from climbing up again. They wrestle, they chase, they scream at each other in jubilation, but all the while she is keeping up with what they are doing.
I noticed it today and it really struck me. We went to Sarah's therapy and I had all the kids and one of Andy's friends. Andy had early release today for teacher conferences, so I brought his friend home too because we're always too scheduled for playdates. So we were leaving therapy, the four kids and me, and we were waiting for the elevator to take us down to the parking garage. As soon as the elevator doors opened, all of the kids rushed to get into the elevator. Even Amanda. She saw those doors open and the kids take off and she started running as well. Then I realized. She was not going to let them do something without her. She was not going to be left behind. She is going to do exactly what they do.
It's funny. I see that with Sarah and Andy, but they're older. Sarah has to do everything Andy does. Amanda is so young and still figuring everything out, but there are a few things she's got down. First, if she brings me food from the pantry, I'll give it to her. Second, the older kids are where all the action is. Third, if they can do it, why can't she? So far she's still a mama's girl and sticks close, but I'm going to have to watch out for this one.
She loves to be around the big kids, and do what they are doing. She and Sarah have a blast climbing up on Sarah's bed and rolling all over with the stuffed animals. Sarah has a gate, if that's what you call it, on her bed, but Amanda still seems to be able to find the holes and get stuck or almost fall off. That does not stop her from climbing up again. They wrestle, they chase, they scream at each other in jubilation, but all the while she is keeping up with what they are doing.
I noticed it today and it really struck me. We went to Sarah's therapy and I had all the kids and one of Andy's friends. Andy had early release today for teacher conferences, so I brought his friend home too because we're always too scheduled for playdates. So we were leaving therapy, the four kids and me, and we were waiting for the elevator to take us down to the parking garage. As soon as the elevator doors opened, all of the kids rushed to get into the elevator. Even Amanda. She saw those doors open and the kids take off and she started running as well. Then I realized. She was not going to let them do something without her. She was not going to be left behind. She is going to do exactly what they do.
It's funny. I see that with Sarah and Andy, but they're older. Sarah has to do everything Andy does. Amanda is so young and still figuring everything out, but there are a few things she's got down. First, if she brings me food from the pantry, I'll give it to her. Second, the older kids are where all the action is. Third, if they can do it, why can't she? So far she's still a mama's girl and sticks close, but I'm going to have to watch out for this one.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Kid Quote of the Day
"Amanda, watch this. Watch and learn."
-Sarah, trying to show Amanda how to velcro and unvelcro her shoes while we were driving in the car.
-Sarah, trying to show Amanda how to velcro and unvelcro her shoes while we were driving in the car.
Triple Whammy
I know, it's been a week since I've written. It's not that I don't have anything to write. I have an ongoing list of things I'd like to tell you about. It's just crazy around here. I thought that once school started I'd have all this free time, but I forgot to take one very important thing into consideration. Amanda. I've been trying to get her on a good nap schedule, but it's not working. I've been trying to get something, anything, done while she's awake, but that's not happening either. I don't know where everything went wrong, but the easy going third kid I thought I was going to get was just a dream.
It's allergy season here in Texas. Well, I think all year is allergy season, but I think now it's kind of spiked. Supposedly they are really bad this year. See, the funny thing is, I don't have allergies. Sure, I get one or two allergy-induced sinus infections a year, but otherwise I am not bothered in the least. Almost everybody I know has allergy problems. They say that if you don't have them when you move to Texas, you will soon. I'm not sure how I've avoided them, but I have. The problem is, my kids haven't. Andy doesn't have them too bad. He's like me, a couple of times a year he'll get an itchy throat and a croupy cough, but that's about it. Sarah, on the other hand, started taking allergy medicine at one, as soon as they would let her, and takes it year round. She doesn't often get bothered by allergy symptoms, but she has the medication in her system all the time. Amanda is a different story. She has had allergy symptoms since she was only a couple of months old. I didn't know that was possible, I thought you needed to be exposed for at least a season before systems showed up, but they are starting to believe it is. The doctor finally put her on allergy meds when she turned one, but they haven't really helped. For the first three weeks she was on them her nose ran constantly. I thought for sure they weren't working. Finally her nose cleared up so I assumed her body had finally gotten adjusted to having the medicine. Last week it started again.
I know she's not sick. She doesn't have a fever and she doesn't act like she has an ear infection or anything else. I've taken her to the doctor so many times for them to say, "nope, there's nothing wrong with her". But overall she's just very unhappy. Her eyes are kind of puffy and her nose runs incessantly. She coughs because of the drainage and she's having problems sleeping. As a result, we are having problems sleeping, because we have to get up with her and try to get her back to bed. Then, during the day, she doesn't want to take a nap and just wants to be held. If we're not holding her, she's crying. Overall, it sucks.
On top of that, she's cutting about six teeth and she has a horrible diaper rash. I don't know if the rash is from something she's eating or because of the allergy stuff or some other infection, but it looks awful. Her gums are so swollen she's trying to chew on everything. Luckily not us, but everything else. So basically she's miserable, which means I am miserable. When Charlie comes home and says "what did you do today?", my response is, "nothing". That's right, nothing. I held a crying baby all day while the laundry sat there not done, not being folded, not being put away. I spent an hour trying to put the baby down for a nap, with her sleeping in my arms but every time I moved even a little bit so that I could put her in her crib she would cry. When she cries, it's not a sad little cry. It's a loud, piercing, screaming cry that means business. I'm not sure where she learned it, but it's awful. Then, every time we went to get Sarah or Andy or anywhere in the car, she would sleep. Of course that was only for 15-20 minutes and so she never got a real nap, just a bunch of cat naps all over town. Not when we were at home where I could be doing something, but when we were in the car.
I know, I know, this too will pass. I'm sure I went through this with Andy and Sarah too and can't remember any of it. I guess this time I just feel like I have so many other things I need to be doing, and as I sit there trying to calm my screaming baby they are mocking me. On top of that, it's hard to listen to crying all day long. It's a serious downer. Although everyone tells me to relax and enjoy the time with the baby because it will be gone before you know it, this is not time I want to enjoy. Hurry up, go faster.
I got the name of an allergist from a friend today, I think we'll start there. If nothing else I'd at least like someone to get a baseline of what's going on so we can follow it in the future. That way if they get worse we'll know where we started. Hopefully she can shed some light on what's going on. I'll talk to the pediatrician tomorrow about the diaper rash. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, but if so we'll take care of it. The teeth, well there's not much I can do about that, but that will be over soon enough. I'll make sure to stock lots of ibuprofen.
See, it will be okay, but if you don't hear from me for a few days, now you know why.
It's allergy season here in Texas. Well, I think all year is allergy season, but I think now it's kind of spiked. Supposedly they are really bad this year. See, the funny thing is, I don't have allergies. Sure, I get one or two allergy-induced sinus infections a year, but otherwise I am not bothered in the least. Almost everybody I know has allergy problems. They say that if you don't have them when you move to Texas, you will soon. I'm not sure how I've avoided them, but I have. The problem is, my kids haven't. Andy doesn't have them too bad. He's like me, a couple of times a year he'll get an itchy throat and a croupy cough, but that's about it. Sarah, on the other hand, started taking allergy medicine at one, as soon as they would let her, and takes it year round. She doesn't often get bothered by allergy symptoms, but she has the medication in her system all the time. Amanda is a different story. She has had allergy symptoms since she was only a couple of months old. I didn't know that was possible, I thought you needed to be exposed for at least a season before systems showed up, but they are starting to believe it is. The doctor finally put her on allergy meds when she turned one, but they haven't really helped. For the first three weeks she was on them her nose ran constantly. I thought for sure they weren't working. Finally her nose cleared up so I assumed her body had finally gotten adjusted to having the medicine. Last week it started again.
I know she's not sick. She doesn't have a fever and she doesn't act like she has an ear infection or anything else. I've taken her to the doctor so many times for them to say, "nope, there's nothing wrong with her". But overall she's just very unhappy. Her eyes are kind of puffy and her nose runs incessantly. She coughs because of the drainage and she's having problems sleeping. As a result, we are having problems sleeping, because we have to get up with her and try to get her back to bed. Then, during the day, she doesn't want to take a nap and just wants to be held. If we're not holding her, she's crying. Overall, it sucks.
On top of that, she's cutting about six teeth and she has a horrible diaper rash. I don't know if the rash is from something she's eating or because of the allergy stuff or some other infection, but it looks awful. Her gums are so swollen she's trying to chew on everything. Luckily not us, but everything else. So basically she's miserable, which means I am miserable. When Charlie comes home and says "what did you do today?", my response is, "nothing". That's right, nothing. I held a crying baby all day while the laundry sat there not done, not being folded, not being put away. I spent an hour trying to put the baby down for a nap, with her sleeping in my arms but every time I moved even a little bit so that I could put her in her crib she would cry. When she cries, it's not a sad little cry. It's a loud, piercing, screaming cry that means business. I'm not sure where she learned it, but it's awful. Then, every time we went to get Sarah or Andy or anywhere in the car, she would sleep. Of course that was only for 15-20 minutes and so she never got a real nap, just a bunch of cat naps all over town. Not when we were at home where I could be doing something, but when we were in the car.
I know, I know, this too will pass. I'm sure I went through this with Andy and Sarah too and can't remember any of it. I guess this time I just feel like I have so many other things I need to be doing, and as I sit there trying to calm my screaming baby they are mocking me. On top of that, it's hard to listen to crying all day long. It's a serious downer. Although everyone tells me to relax and enjoy the time with the baby because it will be gone before you know it, this is not time I want to enjoy. Hurry up, go faster.
I got the name of an allergist from a friend today, I think we'll start there. If nothing else I'd at least like someone to get a baseline of what's going on so we can follow it in the future. That way if they get worse we'll know where we started. Hopefully she can shed some light on what's going on. I'll talk to the pediatrician tomorrow about the diaper rash. I'm sure it's nothing to worry about, but if so we'll take care of it. The teeth, well there's not much I can do about that, but that will be over soon enough. I'll make sure to stock lots of ibuprofen.
See, it will be okay, but if you don't hear from me for a few days, now you know why.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Jonas, Part II
I forgot to mention in my previous post that Nick is my favorite of the Jonas Brothers. He is by far the most talented. He plays multiple instruments, does at least half of the singing, and writes most of the songs. He's also pretty cute and very mature for his 17 years. An old soul. If I were 25 years younger (ouch, am I that old?), I would have a poster of him on my wall. Or, maybe not. When I was in junior high and everybody else was obsessed with Duran Duran and wanted to marry Simon and have his babies I couldn't care less. I was lucky if I even knew a Duran Duran song when it played on the radio. I blame this on my parents, and their unwillingness to subscribe to cable, and therefore MTV, as I was growing up. Still to this day I am horrible at music and Charlie and I are always playing the who sings this game and neither do very well. If it weren't for the fact that the radio actually displays the name of the song and the artist I would be totally lost.
So, to answer your question, Nick is my favorite.
So, to answer your question, Nick is my favorite.
Jonas
I took Andy to the Jonas Brothers concert on Sunday night. I know, what an awesome mom, right? At least that's what people kept telling me. My friend, Mike, is a HUGE fan, and uses his daughter as an excuse to go to the concerts. They just happened to have two extra tickets because the concert got moved and the other two people couldn't go anymore and I jumped at the chance to go. I thought it would be fun to take Andy and do something just the two of us, which we don't get to do very often anymore.
I know it sounds like I made a big sacrifice, but I actually like the Jonas Brothers. Their music is fun and upbeat, not too teeny bopper, except that Andy used to ask me why all their songs were about love and girls, and easy to sing along to. They are great roll models for my kids and you never hear about them getting in trouble. The only thing I don't like about the Jonas Brothers is Joe's relationship issues and how he handles his love life, he keeps breaking up with cute, sweet girls like Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato out of nowhere and breaking thier hearts, but he's only 20 so I'll give him a break and chalk it up to life's experiences. Plus, I only know what I read in the tabloids so I may be missing a few details.
It was a pretty good concert. The opening band wasn't really an opening band but a group of kids performing songs from the new Disney movie Camp Rock 2 Final Jam. We haven't seen it yet but have seen enough of the videos on Disney Channel that we knew most of the music. We were most excited to see Allison Stoner, who plays the voice of Isabella on Phineas and Ferb. If you've never seen that cartoon you are totally missing out. Brilliant. Demi Lovato was also there and sang 5-6 songs. Most of them sounded like jaded girlfriend songs, which would make sense since she was recently dumped by Joe Jonas (see, relationship issues), but it was so loud in there I couldn't really hear all the words. Or any of them. But Andy was excited to see her and see some of the Camp Rock songs.
The intermission wasn't long, but too long for a seven year old. When the Jonas Brothers did finally come on they played for about an hour and a half. They sang my favorite song, Andy's favorite song, Mike's favorite song, we were all happy. I was able to sing along with most of it since we've been listening to the CDs in the car. Of course, there were lots and lots of screaming girls at the concert. Big ones, little ones, lots. For every boy you saw there were at least 20 girls. Did I mention lots of screaming. Even then, we still had a good time. Andy enjoyed his first concert (unless you count the Wiggles, and at the time he definitely seemed to enjoy that more) and I'm glad I could take him. A totally different experience than when my grandma took my brothers to see the Rolling Stones and everybody in the audience was smoking pot, but that's probably a good thing.
On our way out Andy asked me if we could go to their next concert. I told him I'd be happy to take him again, as long as he paid this time.
I know it sounds like I made a big sacrifice, but I actually like the Jonas Brothers. Their music is fun and upbeat, not too teeny bopper, except that Andy used to ask me why all their songs were about love and girls, and easy to sing along to. They are great roll models for my kids and you never hear about them getting in trouble. The only thing I don't like about the Jonas Brothers is Joe's relationship issues and how he handles his love life, he keeps breaking up with cute, sweet girls like Taylor Swift and Demi Lovato out of nowhere and breaking thier hearts, but he's only 20 so I'll give him a break and chalk it up to life's experiences. Plus, I only know what I read in the tabloids so I may be missing a few details.
It was a pretty good concert. The opening band wasn't really an opening band but a group of kids performing songs from the new Disney movie Camp Rock 2 Final Jam. We haven't seen it yet but have seen enough of the videos on Disney Channel that we knew most of the music. We were most excited to see Allison Stoner, who plays the voice of Isabella on Phineas and Ferb. If you've never seen that cartoon you are totally missing out. Brilliant. Demi Lovato was also there and sang 5-6 songs. Most of them sounded like jaded girlfriend songs, which would make sense since she was recently dumped by Joe Jonas (see, relationship issues), but it was so loud in there I couldn't really hear all the words. Or any of them. But Andy was excited to see her and see some of the Camp Rock songs.
The intermission wasn't long, but too long for a seven year old. When the Jonas Brothers did finally come on they played for about an hour and a half. They sang my favorite song, Andy's favorite song, Mike's favorite song, we were all happy. I was able to sing along with most of it since we've been listening to the CDs in the car. Of course, there were lots and lots of screaming girls at the concert. Big ones, little ones, lots. For every boy you saw there were at least 20 girls. Did I mention lots of screaming. Even then, we still had a good time. Andy enjoyed his first concert (unless you count the Wiggles, and at the time he definitely seemed to enjoy that more) and I'm glad I could take him. A totally different experience than when my grandma took my brothers to see the Rolling Stones and everybody in the audience was smoking pot, but that's probably a good thing.
On our way out Andy asked me if we could go to their next concert. I told him I'd be happy to take him again, as long as he paid this time.
Friday, September 10, 2010
Kid Quote of the Day
"All the water is gone because it's not that weird, funky, old day anymore."
-Sarah, when we noticed that all the flood water had gone down and things were back to normal.
-Sarah, when we noticed that all the flood water had gone down and things were back to normal.
10 Down, 50 To Go
Yesterday was Charlie and my 10th anniversary. 10 years. It's funny, because in some ways it seems like we only got married yesterday. I remember our wedding so vividly. Okay, so there's a ton of stuff I don't remember from that day because let's face it, my memory stinks, but there are plenty of things I do remember and it seems like it just happened. On the other hand, it's hard to remember life without Charlie. I mean, I remember a few things from high school and college and I know he wasn't there, and then we met a year after I got out of college. So I guess there wasn't much "real life" without Charlie. He has always been there.
The last 1o years have gone by in a flash. Some fun trips, a few kids, a couple of houses (not at the same time of course) and all of a sudden here we are 10 years later. The crazy part is that I like him even more now than I did then. At the time I couldn't have imagined that even being possible, but that me had never seen him as a father and didn't truly know what a hard-working, proud person he was. My dad always jokes that he didn't marry his best friend because he does stuff with my mom that he would never want to do with his friends (thanks dad, TMI, I don't even want those images in my head), but that's not the case with us. Part of the reason that Charlie and I have done so well over the last 10 years, and the 4 1/2 that we dated, is because he is my best friend. He always knows how to make me laugh, and I do still laugh at his corny jokes, and we genuinely have fun together. We've never had major issues in our relationship, mainly because we have very good communication (at the insistence of my intelligent husband), but all couples get into a funk here and there. There's nothing quite wrong, but things just aren't right. Even we have times like that, and that's when our friendship pulls us through and paves the way for everything else.
I can't imagine my life without Charlie, and hope that I never have to. A few years ago, a woman named Ayelet Waldman wrote an article for The New York Times about how she loved her husband more than her four children. She took a ton of slack for this article. People thought she was crazy and a horrible mother for even thinking this way. Most people I know would give up their husband for their children any day without question. I, on the other hand, understand where she is coming from. When people play that little game of who would you save if you could only pick one, I can never decide between Charlie and the kids. Most women think this is a no brainer and pick the kids, I can't say that. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. No matter how much they drive me crazy I love them more than words can say. I begged for them all, carried them nine months, delivered them (two naturally), nursed them, gave up countless hours of sleep for them and still do every little thing for them today. I would do anything for them, except give up Charlie. He is the love of my life and I am so thankful everyday that he is a part of it.
All that being said, here's the humor with the big anniversary. The traditional 10 year anniversary gift is tin or aluminum. Did you know that? I bet April and John do. They are my cool friends who actually give each other an anniversary gift each year that follows the traditional gift guide. April says it makes them much more creative and thoughtful in their gift giving. I'm sure that's true when you have to give a gift made out of tin. Well, we don't follow the traditional gifts. In fact, our gifts to each other this year were very nontraditional. Charlie gave me a day off to go shopping with a friend for the entire day, without the kids. That may not sound like much, but it is huge. I never get to go shopping by myself and just being away from the kids for the day is a major destress. It was heavenly and I had a great time. I gave Charlie something similar. Two tickets to a Miami Dolphins game for him and one of his friends. Right on the 50 yard line (please overlook the fact that they are really, really high up, did I mention it was the 50 yard line?). He hasn't been to a Dolphins game in years and with the kids it's almost impossible. He will have a blast. So the humor is that we gave each other gifts to do something with someone else, but not together. Some people might be concerned by that, but a friend told me it's a sign of two people in a strong, mature relationship. I'm going to stick with that answer.
Don't worry, that's not all. Tomorrow my saintly friend, Bren, is coming over to watch the kids so that we can spend a night on the town celebrating our anniversary. She is the closest thing we have to family here and she always comes through. Not only is she going to watch the kids, but she is also going to spend the night so that we can stay in a hotel and enjoy an evening that is truly alone and void of anyone crying or needing to go to the bathroom of having a nightmare. Priceless. So in the end we will celebrate together and cherish the years we have had and start to build the memories that we will recount on anniversaries to come.
The last 1o years have gone by in a flash. Some fun trips, a few kids, a couple of houses (not at the same time of course) and all of a sudden here we are 10 years later. The crazy part is that I like him even more now than I did then. At the time I couldn't have imagined that even being possible, but that me had never seen him as a father and didn't truly know what a hard-working, proud person he was. My dad always jokes that he didn't marry his best friend because he does stuff with my mom that he would never want to do with his friends (thanks dad, TMI, I don't even want those images in my head), but that's not the case with us. Part of the reason that Charlie and I have done so well over the last 10 years, and the 4 1/2 that we dated, is because he is my best friend. He always knows how to make me laugh, and I do still laugh at his corny jokes, and we genuinely have fun together. We've never had major issues in our relationship, mainly because we have very good communication (at the insistence of my intelligent husband), but all couples get into a funk here and there. There's nothing quite wrong, but things just aren't right. Even we have times like that, and that's when our friendship pulls us through and paves the way for everything else.
I can't imagine my life without Charlie, and hope that I never have to. A few years ago, a woman named Ayelet Waldman wrote an article for The New York Times about how she loved her husband more than her four children. She took a ton of slack for this article. People thought she was crazy and a horrible mother for even thinking this way. Most people I know would give up their husband for their children any day without question. I, on the other hand, understand where she is coming from. When people play that little game of who would you save if you could only pick one, I can never decide between Charlie and the kids. Most women think this is a no brainer and pick the kids, I can't say that. Don't get me wrong. I love my kids. No matter how much they drive me crazy I love them more than words can say. I begged for them all, carried them nine months, delivered them (two naturally), nursed them, gave up countless hours of sleep for them and still do every little thing for them today. I would do anything for them, except give up Charlie. He is the love of my life and I am so thankful everyday that he is a part of it.
All that being said, here's the humor with the big anniversary. The traditional 10 year anniversary gift is tin or aluminum. Did you know that? I bet April and John do. They are my cool friends who actually give each other an anniversary gift each year that follows the traditional gift guide. April says it makes them much more creative and thoughtful in their gift giving. I'm sure that's true when you have to give a gift made out of tin. Well, we don't follow the traditional gifts. In fact, our gifts to each other this year were very nontraditional. Charlie gave me a day off to go shopping with a friend for the entire day, without the kids. That may not sound like much, but it is huge. I never get to go shopping by myself and just being away from the kids for the day is a major destress. It was heavenly and I had a great time. I gave Charlie something similar. Two tickets to a Miami Dolphins game for him and one of his friends. Right on the 50 yard line (please overlook the fact that they are really, really high up, did I mention it was the 50 yard line?). He hasn't been to a Dolphins game in years and with the kids it's almost impossible. He will have a blast. So the humor is that we gave each other gifts to do something with someone else, but not together. Some people might be concerned by that, but a friend told me it's a sign of two people in a strong, mature relationship. I'm going to stick with that answer.
Don't worry, that's not all. Tomorrow my saintly friend, Bren, is coming over to watch the kids so that we can spend a night on the town celebrating our anniversary. She is the closest thing we have to family here and she always comes through. Not only is she going to watch the kids, but she is also going to spend the night so that we can stay in a hotel and enjoy an evening that is truly alone and void of anyone crying or needing to go to the bathroom of having a nightmare. Priceless. So in the end we will celebrate together and cherish the years we have had and start to build the memories that we will recount on anniversaries to come.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Kid Quote of the Day
"Rain go away now. Now, now, now, now, now!"
-Sarah, a line from a song she was making up as we were driving home from swimming. She was not happy with the detour or how long it was taking to get home.
-Sarah, a line from a song she was making up as we were driving home from swimming. She was not happy with the detour or how long it was taking to get home.
Holy Flooding, Batman!
I used to check the weather on my phone about 100 times a day. I was obsessed with it. I could tell you the five day forecast according to iPhone weather by heart. I also knew the weather in Bradley Beach, Okemos, Glen Ellyn, Winter Springs, Miami, Cancun and any city that Charlie had just traveled to or was about to travel to (he would use my phone to check their weather and then leave it on there). I don't know when that stopped, but it did. Maybe when I became too busy to care about what the weather was, or maybe it was after 30 days of 100 degrees and I knew it was just going to be hot, or maybe because I get jealous of seeing how everybody else's weather was so much nicer than ours.
Whatever the reason, I never know what the weather is going to be now. So, I was pleasantly surprised when it started to rain on Monday evening. We've had a very hot summer and, as usual, have had very little rain this year. All the plants are hunched over and the grass is yellow, so a little rain is always needed. When I was a kid I never understood why my parents wanted it to rain. Rain isn't fun, why would you be happy that it's raining? Now that I'm older and pay the water bill and see how much money goes into watering the lawn, I get it. So a little rain on Tuesday was nice. It brought the temperature down and wasn't too menacing.
Today was a different story. It was torrential, like a monsoon or...a hurricane. That's right, apparently since I don't pay attention to the weather anymore I was unaware, a tropical storm with the potential of being a hurricane moved into the Gulf of Mexico over the weekend. Hermine. You wouldn't think something like that wouldn't impact the Dallas area, but it sure does.
Unfortunately for me, Wednesday is my busiest day with the kids, or at least the girls, where we are driving from activity to activity. I hate putting them in rain coats, because then they get all hot and sweaty in the car and their car seat gets all wet, and we just don't do boots. I buy them with good intentions, or at least I used to, but we never wear them. I saw more women wearing calf-high rain boots today than I have ever seen, but that's probably because they never have an excuse to wear them and today the water was so high there was definitely a need. So I took the girls to swimming this morning, and got soaked putting them in the car, soaked getting them out of the car, and soaked getting them back into the car when it was over. It's not that big of a deal because I have to get in the pool with Amanda so I'm not wearing my best clothes to swimming (usually I don't even shower that morning since I'm just going to get covered with chlorine), but it's annoying because then you are cold and wet in the car. Luckily the kids didn't get that wet so Sarah didn't complain too much. Don't get me wrong, she complained. She's always complaining about something because she's four. She just didn't complain as much as she could have. Luckily it was raining a little less by the time we went to Sarah's therapy and had stopped by the time we needed to pick Andy up from school.
Why, do you ask, do I get wet putting them into the car? That's because we don't park in our garage. That would be a great idea, but our garage has too much shit in it. Sorry for the profanity, but that really is the best description. When we moved into this house four years ago we put a bunch of stuff in the garage because we didn't want to put it in the attic only to never be touched again. We wanted to weed through the junk and get rid of it and then put only the things we really needed into the attic. Four years later, all that stuff is still there along with a bunch of other things. There is barely room to walk in the garage, let alone park the car in there. Therefore, when it rains, we get wet.
I'm not exactly sure why, but the drainage system is not idea here. I guess it works most of the time, but every time we have a really big rain it fails miserably. We have enormous drains in the streets, much bigger than the tiny grated drains we had where I grew up, and they kind of slant down to catch everything. They are not covered and are big enough for small children to climb into. Seriously, if Sarah really wanted to go into one of the drains she would fit. They aren't that close together, so when it does rain the water rushes down the street like a flash flood until it finally hits one of the drains. When we have rain like today, things flood. On the way home from swimming we had to go a different direction because the road had closed in the hour since I had come. Once we found a new way home I saw cars on the side of the road, one poor man changing a tire in the pouring rain, and a guy who's car had stalled after going through a very large puddle. One car even had water coming out of it's tail pipe, and I'm pretty sure that is not supposed to happen.
This afternoon I took the back way to get to Sarah's therapy. The most direct route always takes way too long and I finally figured out that the back roads may seem longer mileage wise, but take half the time. As we were driving I saw all these people on the side of the road looking over a bridge. What was going on? Flooding. A river that barely does anything and probably wasn't even there two days ago was raging and the large field next to it was completely filled with water. The field across the street that was usually filled with cows and horses was covered with water too. It wasn't even still water, it was definitely moving. Where I do not know. The middle school just down the street from that had to evacuate 879 students to the high school gym because it was flooded. Towards the end of the day we stopped by the park that the river flows next to and it was also under at least three feet of water. We're not talking about a little park, the playground has to be at least 200 yards from that river. Unbelievable.
Tomorrow and Friday we are supposed to get some reprieve from the rain, but the three days after that we are expecting thunderstorms again. As long as our pool doesn't overflow and flood our house, I think I can handle it. We'll have to be pretty creative with what we do with the kids this weekend or everybody is going to go stir crazy. Maybe they can pack some sand bags.
Whatever the reason, I never know what the weather is going to be now. So, I was pleasantly surprised when it started to rain on Monday evening. We've had a very hot summer and, as usual, have had very little rain this year. All the plants are hunched over and the grass is yellow, so a little rain is always needed. When I was a kid I never understood why my parents wanted it to rain. Rain isn't fun, why would you be happy that it's raining? Now that I'm older and pay the water bill and see how much money goes into watering the lawn, I get it. So a little rain on Tuesday was nice. It brought the temperature down and wasn't too menacing.
Today was a different story. It was torrential, like a monsoon or...a hurricane. That's right, apparently since I don't pay attention to the weather anymore I was unaware, a tropical storm with the potential of being a hurricane moved into the Gulf of Mexico over the weekend. Hermine. You wouldn't think something like that wouldn't impact the Dallas area, but it sure does.
Unfortunately for me, Wednesday is my busiest day with the kids, or at least the girls, where we are driving from activity to activity. I hate putting them in rain coats, because then they get all hot and sweaty in the car and their car seat gets all wet, and we just don't do boots. I buy them with good intentions, or at least I used to, but we never wear them. I saw more women wearing calf-high rain boots today than I have ever seen, but that's probably because they never have an excuse to wear them and today the water was so high there was definitely a need. So I took the girls to swimming this morning, and got soaked putting them in the car, soaked getting them out of the car, and soaked getting them back into the car when it was over. It's not that big of a deal because I have to get in the pool with Amanda so I'm not wearing my best clothes to swimming (usually I don't even shower that morning since I'm just going to get covered with chlorine), but it's annoying because then you are cold and wet in the car. Luckily the kids didn't get that wet so Sarah didn't complain too much. Don't get me wrong, she complained. She's always complaining about something because she's four. She just didn't complain as much as she could have. Luckily it was raining a little less by the time we went to Sarah's therapy and had stopped by the time we needed to pick Andy up from school.
Why, do you ask, do I get wet putting them into the car? That's because we don't park in our garage. That would be a great idea, but our garage has too much shit in it. Sorry for the profanity, but that really is the best description. When we moved into this house four years ago we put a bunch of stuff in the garage because we didn't want to put it in the attic only to never be touched again. We wanted to weed through the junk and get rid of it and then put only the things we really needed into the attic. Four years later, all that stuff is still there along with a bunch of other things. There is barely room to walk in the garage, let alone park the car in there. Therefore, when it rains, we get wet.
I'm not exactly sure why, but the drainage system is not idea here. I guess it works most of the time, but every time we have a really big rain it fails miserably. We have enormous drains in the streets, much bigger than the tiny grated drains we had where I grew up, and they kind of slant down to catch everything. They are not covered and are big enough for small children to climb into. Seriously, if Sarah really wanted to go into one of the drains she would fit. They aren't that close together, so when it does rain the water rushes down the street like a flash flood until it finally hits one of the drains. When we have rain like today, things flood. On the way home from swimming we had to go a different direction because the road had closed in the hour since I had come. Once we found a new way home I saw cars on the side of the road, one poor man changing a tire in the pouring rain, and a guy who's car had stalled after going through a very large puddle. One car even had water coming out of it's tail pipe, and I'm pretty sure that is not supposed to happen.
This afternoon I took the back way to get to Sarah's therapy. The most direct route always takes way too long and I finally figured out that the back roads may seem longer mileage wise, but take half the time. As we were driving I saw all these people on the side of the road looking over a bridge. What was going on? Flooding. A river that barely does anything and probably wasn't even there two days ago was raging and the large field next to it was completely filled with water. The field across the street that was usually filled with cows and horses was covered with water too. It wasn't even still water, it was definitely moving. Where I do not know. The middle school just down the street from that had to evacuate 879 students to the high school gym because it was flooded. Towards the end of the day we stopped by the park that the river flows next to and it was also under at least three feet of water. We're not talking about a little park, the playground has to be at least 200 yards from that river. Unbelievable.
Tomorrow and Friday we are supposed to get some reprieve from the rain, but the three days after that we are expecting thunderstorms again. As long as our pool doesn't overflow and flood our house, I think I can handle it. We'll have to be pretty creative with what we do with the kids this weekend or everybody is going to go stir crazy. Maybe they can pack some sand bags.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Kid Quote of the Day
"Let's make Andy die because he's being mean to me."
-Sarah, I don't remember why she said this, but it seems to be a general theme around here lately.
-Sarah, I don't remember why she said this, but it seems to be a general theme around here lately.
A New Normal
This post is dedicated to my friend, April, who's been having a really rough time lately.
When Sarah came home from the hospital, we had some adjusting to do. We had to get used to having a baby in the house again, living on little sleep, and had to figure out how to do that without ignoring our three year old. We had to learn how to be a family of four. Of course, Sarah went back to the hospital 10 days later for emergency surgery and our lives changed completely. We didn't have to worry when she was going to meet her milestones and when she would walk, but instead worry about if she would meet them and if she would walk. Our lives were filled with doctor's appointments and therapy and all these things that we had never experienced before. It was not what we were expecting, but it was what it was. We had to find a new normal.
In small ways, people find a new normal everyday. When you get married and start living together you have to adjust to your partner. Even heathens that live together before they get married go through this because it's just a little different when it's legally binding. All of a sudden you became a we and you have to get into your new routine. A new normal. When you have a baby, it's not all about you anymore. You have to take care of the needs of another person and your twosome is now a threesome and things are just a little off. You don't want to do everything you used to do, like go out to the bars or stay up really late. So you adjust this and that and get into a schedule that works for everyone. A new normal. The same happens when you start a new job, move to a new city, lose lots of weight, there's so many examples of ways you switch your life around.
Some times you don't choose or have control of the changes in your life. Especially the bad ones. This is where life gets difficult and you see how tough you really are. They say that God never gives you any situation you can't handle, that he gives you challenges to show you how strong you really are, but I don't always want to be that strong. I have a friend who's daughter has severe food allergies. So much so that they can't eat out in restaurants, she makes all their food from scratch-bread, chips, foods we completely take for granted-and whenever they go to largely populated places such as Disney World, she has to write "Please do not feed me, I have severe food allergies" on her kids' arms in Sharpie marker in case they get separated or someone tries to give them some food (Surprisingly enough, I was a Disney with a friend one time and a total stranger gave her kid food from his fork, yuck! Luckily that kid had no food allergies). She is a nervous wreck at the beginning of each school year wondering how the teachers and staff will handle her daughter's allergies and if they will know what to do if she's contaminated. Yet she had to go on, she has to live her life. They had to find a way of doing things that worked for them. A new normal.
I have another friend that found out her Kindergartner had Leukemia. All of a sudden they had doctor's visits and chemo and hospital visits and were doing all these things they never dreamed of like medicines and shots and a very hungry little girls pumped up on steroids. A year and a half into it, that's just how it is. All of those things are a way of life and it's just what they do. Their new normal.
Everybody's normal is different, but it's normal for them. I don't know many little kids that go to yoga and therapy, but Sarah does. In fact, her therapist is one of her best friends. They've been working together for almost four years and I can't imagine what life would be like if we didn't see her every week. It would be good, but it wouldn't seem normal, because she is a big part of our new normal. Except it isn't that new, so now it's just normal.
Even if Sarah was 100% tomorrow and completely healed, our life wouldn't go back to the way it was. We know too much. A little bit of innocence was lost. Our world changed dramatically. We've dealt with it, and continue to deal with it, but it will never be the same. She's doing fabulous and can run and jump and climb, but she can't do it as well as the other kids. She can't take dance or ballet and she still has to wear braces. None of the other kids wear braces. Her brother and sister don't wear braces. The real problem is going to be when the baby starts doing things better than her. It's okay if Andy does, because he's older, but it won't be okay when Amanda does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is bad things happen, and it stinks. Just because worse things happen to other people doesn't take away that something horrible has happened to you. Yes, Sarah doesn't have cancer and she's, hopefully, going to live a long life, but that doesn't take away from the fact that her situation kind of sucks. However, what seemed impossible in the beginning, seemed like something that we were never going to get out from under, has just become part of our lives. Part of the routine. Do I wish it wasn't? Heck yes. But it's not going to go away and so now it is just a normal part of our lives. It's there and we're doing what we can and we're moving on.
So will you, because you're strong, whether you feel that way or not.
When Sarah came home from the hospital, we had some adjusting to do. We had to get used to having a baby in the house again, living on little sleep, and had to figure out how to do that without ignoring our three year old. We had to learn how to be a family of four. Of course, Sarah went back to the hospital 10 days later for emergency surgery and our lives changed completely. We didn't have to worry when she was going to meet her milestones and when she would walk, but instead worry about if she would meet them and if she would walk. Our lives were filled with doctor's appointments and therapy and all these things that we had never experienced before. It was not what we were expecting, but it was what it was. We had to find a new normal.
In small ways, people find a new normal everyday. When you get married and start living together you have to adjust to your partner. Even heathens that live together before they get married go through this because it's just a little different when it's legally binding. All of a sudden you became a we and you have to get into your new routine. A new normal. When you have a baby, it's not all about you anymore. You have to take care of the needs of another person and your twosome is now a threesome and things are just a little off. You don't want to do everything you used to do, like go out to the bars or stay up really late. So you adjust this and that and get into a schedule that works for everyone. A new normal. The same happens when you start a new job, move to a new city, lose lots of weight, there's so many examples of ways you switch your life around.
Some times you don't choose or have control of the changes in your life. Especially the bad ones. This is where life gets difficult and you see how tough you really are. They say that God never gives you any situation you can't handle, that he gives you challenges to show you how strong you really are, but I don't always want to be that strong. I have a friend who's daughter has severe food allergies. So much so that they can't eat out in restaurants, she makes all their food from scratch-bread, chips, foods we completely take for granted-and whenever they go to largely populated places such as Disney World, she has to write "Please do not feed me, I have severe food allergies" on her kids' arms in Sharpie marker in case they get separated or someone tries to give them some food (Surprisingly enough, I was a Disney with a friend one time and a total stranger gave her kid food from his fork, yuck! Luckily that kid had no food allergies). She is a nervous wreck at the beginning of each school year wondering how the teachers and staff will handle her daughter's allergies and if they will know what to do if she's contaminated. Yet she had to go on, she has to live her life. They had to find a way of doing things that worked for them. A new normal.
I have another friend that found out her Kindergartner had Leukemia. All of a sudden they had doctor's visits and chemo and hospital visits and were doing all these things they never dreamed of like medicines and shots and a very hungry little girls pumped up on steroids. A year and a half into it, that's just how it is. All of those things are a way of life and it's just what they do. Their new normal.
Everybody's normal is different, but it's normal for them. I don't know many little kids that go to yoga and therapy, but Sarah does. In fact, her therapist is one of her best friends. They've been working together for almost four years and I can't imagine what life would be like if we didn't see her every week. It would be good, but it wouldn't seem normal, because she is a big part of our new normal. Except it isn't that new, so now it's just normal.
Even if Sarah was 100% tomorrow and completely healed, our life wouldn't go back to the way it was. We know too much. A little bit of innocence was lost. Our world changed dramatically. We've dealt with it, and continue to deal with it, but it will never be the same. She's doing fabulous and can run and jump and climb, but she can't do it as well as the other kids. She can't take dance or ballet and she still has to wear braces. None of the other kids wear braces. Her brother and sister don't wear braces. The real problem is going to be when the baby starts doing things better than her. It's okay if Andy does, because he's older, but it won't be okay when Amanda does.
I guess what I'm trying to say is bad things happen, and it stinks. Just because worse things happen to other people doesn't take away that something horrible has happened to you. Yes, Sarah doesn't have cancer and she's, hopefully, going to live a long life, but that doesn't take away from the fact that her situation kind of sucks. However, what seemed impossible in the beginning, seemed like something that we were never going to get out from under, has just become part of our lives. Part of the routine. Do I wish it wasn't? Heck yes. But it's not going to go away and so now it is just a normal part of our lives. It's there and we're doing what we can and we're moving on.
So will you, because you're strong, whether you feel that way or not.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Kid Quote of the Day
Charlie: Sarah, why do you like princesses?
Sarah: Because girls like princesses and I'm a girl.
Sarah: Because girls like princesses and I'm a girl.
The Great Purge
Now that we know for sure that we aren't having anymore babies, we're both kind of antsy to get all the baby stuff out of the house. As soon as Amanda finishes using something, it's out the door. I sold her Jumparoo when she refused to get in it anymore and my beloved baby food maker shipped out last week.
It's funny because, besides the Jumparoo, most of it wasn't taking up that much space. Not physically anyway. We had six years worth of Andy's clothes in the attic, waiting to find out if we were going to have another boy. Now that we don't need them, they are all tagged and ready to go on Friday to a huge consignment sale that is in Fort Worth this weekend. Anything that wasn't good enough for the sale is going to a Leukemia and Lymphoma clothing drive on Tuesday, and anything that was too good is going to eBay. You laugh, but it's been going quite well. If only I wasn't so lazy and undisciplined it would be even better.
So I've been emptying big Rubbermaid tubs that have been sitting in the attic and getting rid of all the baby equipment. It's been kind of nostalgic, remembering certain outfits and things we did or places we went when he was wearing them. I found his "Baby's First Hanukkah" bodysuit that I couldn't find with either of the girls and wished Amanda could still wear it. Found hats and t-shirts and all these things that remind me of simpler days when Andy was little and cute and just one baby and not argumentative and always right and three kids.
As I said, it's not the physical space all that stuff takes up. It's the mental space. The what ifs (What if we have another baby? What if it's a boy?), the maybes (Maybe we should keep this just in case...maybe we'll need this if x happens) and the I don't knows (I don't know if I want to buy a new one or if we can use the one we have...I don't know if this will be out of date or still in style). Not that we are finally done with the family planning stage of our lives, some of that mental space is being freed up. It's not sad to get rid of these things we've saved for so long, it's freeing. It's almost an addiction. What else can we expel from the house? It's the thought of being organized, simplifying, making space for bigger and better things.
I'm not rushing, don't get me wrong. Although I have my issues with the kids and have days when I struggle more than others, I also have tons of great days and don't want to skip through this time. Especially because everybody I meet tells me to enjoy them while they are young and they just get more difficult with harder problems as they get older. It's just that we know who we are a little more. We are a family of five, one boy and two girls. We are leaving the baby stage. It's been fun, but there is so much more we can do. Pretty soon Amanda will be able to do and handle more and thus our family will as well. There is less uncertainty about where we are going and what we will be. Now it's just time to enjoy the ride and see where it takes us.
Sure, we still need to plan for college and make sure the kids are heading in the right direction with all their activities and keep them out of trouble. I'm sure that will take plenty of my mental capacity. But for a little while, before they get too old and our lives are even crazier, we can just focus on who we are right now and the family that we want to be moving forward. No what ifs or maybes or I don't knows. Just now. My house being less cluttered will be the icing on the cake.
It's funny because, besides the Jumparoo, most of it wasn't taking up that much space. Not physically anyway. We had six years worth of Andy's clothes in the attic, waiting to find out if we were going to have another boy. Now that we don't need them, they are all tagged and ready to go on Friday to a huge consignment sale that is in Fort Worth this weekend. Anything that wasn't good enough for the sale is going to a Leukemia and Lymphoma clothing drive on Tuesday, and anything that was too good is going to eBay. You laugh, but it's been going quite well. If only I wasn't so lazy and undisciplined it would be even better.
So I've been emptying big Rubbermaid tubs that have been sitting in the attic and getting rid of all the baby equipment. It's been kind of nostalgic, remembering certain outfits and things we did or places we went when he was wearing them. I found his "Baby's First Hanukkah" bodysuit that I couldn't find with either of the girls and wished Amanda could still wear it. Found hats and t-shirts and all these things that remind me of simpler days when Andy was little and cute and just one baby and not argumentative and always right and three kids.
As I said, it's not the physical space all that stuff takes up. It's the mental space. The what ifs (What if we have another baby? What if it's a boy?), the maybes (Maybe we should keep this just in case...maybe we'll need this if x happens) and the I don't knows (I don't know if I want to buy a new one or if we can use the one we have...I don't know if this will be out of date or still in style). Not that we are finally done with the family planning stage of our lives, some of that mental space is being freed up. It's not sad to get rid of these things we've saved for so long, it's freeing. It's almost an addiction. What else can we expel from the house? It's the thought of being organized, simplifying, making space for bigger and better things.
I'm not rushing, don't get me wrong. Although I have my issues with the kids and have days when I struggle more than others, I also have tons of great days and don't want to skip through this time. Especially because everybody I meet tells me to enjoy them while they are young and they just get more difficult with harder problems as they get older. It's just that we know who we are a little more. We are a family of five, one boy and two girls. We are leaving the baby stage. It's been fun, but there is so much more we can do. Pretty soon Amanda will be able to do and handle more and thus our family will as well. There is less uncertainty about where we are going and what we will be. Now it's just time to enjoy the ride and see where it takes us.
Sure, we still need to plan for college and make sure the kids are heading in the right direction with all their activities and keep them out of trouble. I'm sure that will take plenty of my mental capacity. But for a little while, before they get too old and our lives are even crazier, we can just focus on who we are right now and the family that we want to be moving forward. No what ifs or maybes or I don't knows. Just now. My house being less cluttered will be the icing on the cake.
Amanda
Charlie only had time to scan one of the pictures of Amanda, but here it is. Hopefully more to follow.
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