Finally!

I've been wanting to do this for awhile. In fact, I tried it once before, about 15 months ago. I had just found out I was pregnant with Amanda, baby number last, and I wanted to finally write everything down. I didn't do it with the first two, but this time was different, I wanted to remember and compare and have history. I started out well, but after a couple of entries I started to get all the aweful pregnancy symptoms - nausea, extreme tiredness - and I stopped. Mostly because the only time I had available to write was in the evenings after the kids went to bed and by then I couldn't function. When I finally was ready to start again it had been three months so I just let it go.

But I can't really let it go. Throughout the day, I often find myself writing little snippets in my head. Something funny the kids did or said, and I can't stop thinking about it until it's perfectly scripted in my brain. I get some relief through Facebook, but you don't really get to write enough, and a lot of my FB friends haven't seen me in 20 years and don't really know my sense of humor anymore. So I keep thinking, I'll write a blog. At this point I don't even care if anybody reads it. I just want to get out all these crazy thoughts and be able to go back and see what I was thinking or what the kids were doing or saying and how I handled it, good or bad.

Someday, when my kids have kids of their own, they can go back and read some of this stuff and realize that their kids are doing to them exactly what they did to me...taking a perfectly sane, intelligent person and turning her into a crazy, impatient, sleep-deprived weirdo.