Would you trade 15 minutes for two hours? More specifically, would you be willing to perform a 15 minute task so that you could sleep an extra two hours every night? Duh, of course! Who wouldn't? Wait, let me give you a little more to think about. What if the 15 minute task you were performing was preventing your baby from sleeping through the night so that she continued, over and over, night after night, to wake you up to perform that 15 minute task. Still interested in the trade? Do you know what the heck I'm even talking about?
No, I'm not waking up Amanda in the middle of the night, she's waking me up. She's seven months old today, SEVEN MONTHS, and she is still not sleeping through the night. Charlie and I are just a little bit beyond annoyed and way past loopy. What's worse is she's upstairs snug in her bed, making up all the lost sleep and I'm here with you.
Andy slept through the night at 11 weeks. He was my first and I was a naive new parent and I thought that was normal, or that I was some fantastic mother who knew some trick that nobody else knew. There were hiccups every once and awhile, a week here or there where he woke up every night crying, but in general he was sleeping 12 hours a night from 11 weeks on. Sarah was much more of a challenge. She had health issues at birth and I was so happy she was okay I didn't really try to get her on a schedule. When I finally couldn't take it anymore she was set in her ways and wasn't going to appease me. She was a horrible napper and didn't sleep through the night until a few weeks before her first birthday. Because of Sarah, there almost was no Amanda.
But Amanda was different. She appeared to be more like Andy. She definitely naps better, but I think that's because she doesn't get to do it very often. So when she does, she makes the best of it. The week she turned three months old she slept through the night for almost a week. I'm not talking that fake sleeping through the night, 10p-6a. I say it's fake because if you have to hang out with your kid that late and don't get any time in the evening to yourself or with your spouse, then they aren't sleeping through the night. She was sleeping 7p-6a. 11 hours. Heaven! During that week I didn't really take full advantage of what was happening. The first couple days I woke up anyway because I was used to being up at that time. Of course, instead of rolling over and going back to sleep I had to check on her and make sure the reason she was so quiet wasn't because she was really dead. I don't care how many kids you have, that is always a fear. The next few days when I relaxed and knew she was actually sleeping, I was woken by the other two having to go to the bathroom, having nightmares, or just "wanting you". By the time it was my turn to start sleeping all night long, she stopped doing it.
Then came Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I wasn't about to work to get her on a night time sleeping schedule when I knew it would just go out the window when we travelled for the holidays. So I continued to get up every night and waited until the holidays were over. In January I got tough. Seriously. She would wake up around midnight or 1a and I would rock her or hold her or sing to her, anything but feed her. She would usually last about two hours until she exhausted herself and finally fell asleep. I refused to feed her. I was a walking zombie the next day, but still I wouldn't feed her. This happened day after day after day. My goal was to refrain from feeding her until 6a. I started to give in around 4-5a because I was so tired and rundown.
I was so close. So, so close. Then we went on a weekend trip with the kids at the beginning of February. Four days away from home, in a pack n' play, in a very small hotel room. I had to cave. I didn't want the older kids waking from her crying in the night, so I fed her to keep her quiet. She refuses to take a pacifier, basically I am her pacifier, so there weren't a lot of other options. After four days, she was completely deprogrammed and back to her evil ways. Another trip at the end of February sealed the deal.
Now she wakes up about twice a night. The first time at around midnight or 1a and the second around 4a. Even worse than before. I am absolutely exhausted. Which brings me back to my original question. If I feed her when she wakes, it takes approximately 15 minutes. Sometimes a few more, sometimes even less. She goes back to sleep and so can I. If I don't feed her, we're up for about two hours trying to convince her to go back to sleep. The doctor says physically she can make it 12 hours at night. She's just used to getting up, so she does. We need to break the habit. We need to stay home, don't travel, and be firm and not feed her when she wakes. The problem is, I don't know if I have enough energy to do it. Even with the extra two hours of sleep I'm still not getting enough.
She's my last baby. Should I try to enjoy and cherish these last few months we have together, just the two of us nursing in the night, or should I stand strong and refuse to feed her so this whole rigamarole can end and I can finally, after seven months, get a good night's sleep? Really, in the end, it's just 15 minutes of my time.
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