A Tiny Peek Into the Insanity

Ever since Andy's been able to talk, he's been asking questions. In that way he's like Charlie, he asks a ton of questions, trying to figure out the world, and sometimes doesn't even stop to wait for your answer before he asks another. It's maddening. Over the years I've learned that the answers I give are rarely the answers he is looking for. Huh? Why? Because I don't truly understand the question he is asking.

For example, he used to ask me a lot of what if questions, but they weren't your normal what ifs. He had a very specific answer in mind, and if you didn't give it to him you were wrong. One time he asked me, "Mommy (because every single question always starts with Mommy), what would happen if poop came out your penis and pee came out your butt?". Of course I'm thinking of all these medical conditions where something horrible has gone wrong and how your life would change forever, but instead, because I've learned, I said, "I don't know Andy. What would happen?". His answer? "Then you would have to stand up to poop and sit down to pee." Makes sense, just not where you thought it was going.

So, the other day he started barraging me with questions once again. Sarah started taking an art class about 15 minutes away from our house. The class is only an hour long, so if we went home we would only be there for about 20 minutes before we had to turn around again. As a result, we usually run errands or go somewhere for a snack while we wait. I don't get a lot of one on one time with Andy anymore, so this is his chance to hang out with Mom and ask crazy questions. Yes, Amanda is with us, but she isn't much of a conversationalist at this point in time.

Our conversation went like this:

Andy: Mommy, what are the rules for riding out west?

Me: I don't understand your question.

Andy: What are the rules...

Me: I understood what you said, I just don't know what you are trying to ask.

Andy: Okay, let me reword it. What are the rules for driving in the dessert?

Me: Same as any other driving rules.

Andy: They just drive around in the sand?

Me: No, there would have to be roads, otherwise the cars would get stuck in the sand.

Andy: Yeah, like dirt roads?

Me: No, cement roads.

Not exactly where you thought the conversation was going, huh? Maybe a cow hand could have given a better answer.