This morning at 5:27 a.m. Amanda turned one year old. She chose to celebrate the momentous occasion by screaming and yelling. Not in a good way. Seriously, I think Charlie was in the room with her when the clock ticked 5:27 a.m. Either that or he had already brought her into bed with us so he could get some sleep. Yes, there it is. We have blown her sleeping routine so far out of the water from all the traveling and "don't wake up the other people in the house/room" that she gets up at least twice a night to eat/yell at us just because we have let her for the last month. Okay, maybe me more than Charlie, but he knew about it and didn't make me stop.
So anyway, back to the fact that my lovely baby turned one today. I cannot begin to tell you how quickly the last year has flown by. I know everybody says it, but it's true. It's one of those weird things though, because although it has gone amazingly fast, it also seems like she's been around forever, like she's always been one of the family. Maybe because we never were truly complete until she came along, and now we are. I don't know, but I can't imagine our family without her.
The kids absolutely adore her. Especially Sarah. She is Sarah's friend and playmate. I've never seen anyone play with a baby the way she does. Sarah just loves her completely and is so sweet with her. I find it especially cute when she speaks to Amanda in a baby voice, as if her voice isn't baby enough. She is constantly telling me that if something happens to me she will take care of Amanda (a little unsettling, like I should watch my back, but I think said with the best intentions) and has asked countless times if she can have Amanda when she grows up. I'm not sure Amanda is going to be jiggy with that when she's an adult, but I don't know that Sarah will still want her then anyway.
Andy loves her too, and loves to try to make her smile. He is big enough that he can carry her around and does it more willingly than he did a few months ago. He doesn't play with her as much as Sarah does, but he is always trying to make her laugh and distract her and wants to push her in the stroller.
When I was pregnant with Amanda, the entire family wanted a boy. Well, except for me. I would have been happy with a boy, but I really wanted a sister for Sarah. A brother for Andy would have been fine, but they wouldn't have been that close in age and may never have developed a close relationship. When she was born everybody else was a little disappointed, although they were still very excited she was here, but I knew what a great gift a little girl would be. With Andy and Sarah, he is the constant antagonist, always trying to push her buttons and torment her. She loves and admires him, but takes a lot of crap from him. But with Amanda Sarah gets to be the big sister, be the one who is admired and loved, and instead of tormenting her in return, she shows her so much love. Amanda really is the perfect addition to our family and makes it work and balanced.
Now for my sweet little girl. She is definitely coming into her own. She knows what she wants and goes after it, no matter how much we try to distract her. She is constantly moving and doesn't want you to get in her way. She has no fear. Of the steps, the swimming pool, the ocean. At the same time, she is quite a Mamma's Girl. Except when it is time for bed and then she won't even look at or acknowledge me. She is smart, dare I say the smartest one yet. I have no doubts that we are going to see amazing things from this little girl. Before we know it she will be in charge of all of us. She is the spitting image of her sister. Someday I know that I will look at pictures and I will only be able to tell which is which by what they are wearing. Even then I may not know. Two curly haired girls may kill me. I am convinced their craziness is directly related to the number of curls on their heads. She is sweet and loving and always willing to stop and give me one of her wet, juicy, very French kisses that someday I will truly miss.
When I told Charlie time and again that I wanted one more baby, I thought I had the whole thing under control. We had already done it twice, how hard could it be? Unbelievably hard. Harder than I ever imagined. I don't know if it's because I'm older or I forgot everything or the age gap between my kids just makes things a little more challenging, but this past year has been crazy difficult. And yet, I wouldn't change it for the world. I would not change the family or the life we have now for something a little less intense and a little less chaotic. A little quieter, maybe. I would have loved for the last year to be easier. I thought that after having two kids I would have been able to figure out how to get my baby to sleep through the night a little sooner. Or at all. I thought I would have everything down by now. But I don't. I'm tired and stressed and could really use a vacation (really, just by myself this time, or at least just Charlie and me) but I still love what I do, all of it.
Amanda is a joy to have around. Even with all her new found independence and her inability to tell me what she wants and all the crying, still lots of crying, she is a wonderful, fun, cute little baby. I'm sorry, little girl. I guess technically she's not a baby anymore. However, I am the youngest of four and still to this day my father introduces me to people as his baby, so I guess she can stand the title for a little bit longer. I cannot imagine what we would be like without her. Life would no doubt be easier, but not nearly as exciting and fun. I can't wait to see what the future has to bring.
Happy Birthday Amanda!
So anyway, back to the fact that my lovely baby turned one today. I cannot begin to tell you how quickly the last year has flown by. I know everybody says it, but it's true. It's one of those weird things though, because although it has gone amazingly fast, it also seems like she's been around forever, like she's always been one of the family. Maybe because we never were truly complete until she came along, and now we are. I don't know, but I can't imagine our family without her.
The kids absolutely adore her. Especially Sarah. She is Sarah's friend and playmate. I've never seen anyone play with a baby the way she does. Sarah just loves her completely and is so sweet with her. I find it especially cute when she speaks to Amanda in a baby voice, as if her voice isn't baby enough. She is constantly telling me that if something happens to me she will take care of Amanda (a little unsettling, like I should watch my back, but I think said with the best intentions) and has asked countless times if she can have Amanda when she grows up. I'm not sure Amanda is going to be jiggy with that when she's an adult, but I don't know that Sarah will still want her then anyway.
Andy loves her too, and loves to try to make her smile. He is big enough that he can carry her around and does it more willingly than he did a few months ago. He doesn't play with her as much as Sarah does, but he is always trying to make her laugh and distract her and wants to push her in the stroller.
When I was pregnant with Amanda, the entire family wanted a boy. Well, except for me. I would have been happy with a boy, but I really wanted a sister for Sarah. A brother for Andy would have been fine, but they wouldn't have been that close in age and may never have developed a close relationship. When she was born everybody else was a little disappointed, although they were still very excited she was here, but I knew what a great gift a little girl would be. With Andy and Sarah, he is the constant antagonist, always trying to push her buttons and torment her. She loves and admires him, but takes a lot of crap from him. But with Amanda Sarah gets to be the big sister, be the one who is admired and loved, and instead of tormenting her in return, she shows her so much love. Amanda really is the perfect addition to our family and makes it work and balanced.
Now for my sweet little girl. She is definitely coming into her own. She knows what she wants and goes after it, no matter how much we try to distract her. She is constantly moving and doesn't want you to get in her way. She has no fear. Of the steps, the swimming pool, the ocean. At the same time, she is quite a Mamma's Girl. Except when it is time for bed and then she won't even look at or acknowledge me. She is smart, dare I say the smartest one yet. I have no doubts that we are going to see amazing things from this little girl. Before we know it she will be in charge of all of us. She is the spitting image of her sister. Someday I know that I will look at pictures and I will only be able to tell which is which by what they are wearing. Even then I may not know. Two curly haired girls may kill me. I am convinced their craziness is directly related to the number of curls on their heads. She is sweet and loving and always willing to stop and give me one of her wet, juicy, very French kisses that someday I will truly miss.
When I told Charlie time and again that I wanted one more baby, I thought I had the whole thing under control. We had already done it twice, how hard could it be? Unbelievably hard. Harder than I ever imagined. I don't know if it's because I'm older or I forgot everything or the age gap between my kids just makes things a little more challenging, but this past year has been crazy difficult. And yet, I wouldn't change it for the world. I would not change the family or the life we have now for something a little less intense and a little less chaotic. A little quieter, maybe. I would have loved for the last year to be easier. I thought that after having two kids I would have been able to figure out how to get my baby to sleep through the night a little sooner. Or at all. I thought I would have everything down by now. But I don't. I'm tired and stressed and could really use a vacation (really, just by myself this time, or at least just Charlie and me) but I still love what I do, all of it.
Amanda is a joy to have around. Even with all her new found independence and her inability to tell me what she wants and all the crying, still lots of crying, she is a wonderful, fun, cute little baby. I'm sorry, little girl. I guess technically she's not a baby anymore. However, I am the youngest of four and still to this day my father introduces me to people as his baby, so I guess she can stand the title for a little bit longer. I cannot imagine what we would be like without her. Life would no doubt be easier, but not nearly as exciting and fun. I can't wait to see what the future has to bring.
Happy Birthday Amanda!
Oh, dear. One year old! What a sweet, sincere post that amanda is going to love reading a year or so from now. (if she's smarter than andy, reading can't be too far away.)
ReplyDeletecongrats on creating love and happiness out of chaos. not many can do it. i'm glad you got your third and that it's so wonderful, you have no regrets and only exhausted happiness! happy b-day, amanda!