Not In A Million Years

When you are growing up, there are always things that your parents say that you swear you will never say to your kids. No way. It's things as simple as "because I said so" to the more complex "you can't start dating until you're 30". Of course, it's different for everybody, depending on what crazy things you're parents said to you. For example, here is a conversation I had over and over again with my father during high school whenever I needed help with a math problem:

ME: Dad, how do you do this problem?

DAD: How do you think you do it?

ME: If I knew how to do it, I wouldn't be asking you!

This conversation usually ended with me yelling very loudly at my father and leaving the room crying (sorry Dad, you really did have an unusual amount of patience with me). After I was grown and working, I was helping in a second grade class. One day they were adding two tw-digit numbers together and a little girl asked me for help. The first thing out of my mouth was, "How do you think you do it?" The next thing out of my mouth was, "Oh my God I sound just like my father!".

I think part of it is that you finally understand why "because I said so" is a good enough answer, but also because it has been beat into your head over all those years. Of course there's also those things you never, ever thought you'd be saying to your children, such as, "don't eat the dog food" and "don't stick toys up your nose".

Yesterday, I had just one of those rare situations. Sarah had asked me if she could use scissors. Such an exciting thing for a three-year-old to get to be able to do - cut. She drew a picture of a sun and then cut it out. Then she made a bigger one and cut that one out. At that point the phone rang and I started talking to a friend. The next thing I know she had grabbed the scissors and was running (in the best way that Sarah knows how) through the kitchen and down the hall. I interrupted my conversation and said, "Sarah, don't run with scissors", and started laughing hysterically that I even had to say something so absurd and obvious to her. That's one of the things that you always joke about saying or people doing, but nobody actually does it. That's Sarah for you.

It reminds me of something my mom told me. At the time I didn't exactly understand what she was talking about, but now I do. I was telling her that Andy was lacking in common sense. Her response was that common sense had to be learned. Huh? If it's common sense, why do you have to learn it? But now I get it. If you know that scissors are dangerous and pointy and will hurt you if you fall and they get stabbed into your stomach, then you know that it's not a good idea to run with them - common sense. But if you don't know that they will hurt you when you fall, you don't know that you shouldn't run with them. You don't make that leap or deduction that is required with common sense.

Sometimes it would be nice to think like a three-year-old and throw caution to the wind. Run with scissors, step on a crack, don't worry about what's going to happen next. But most of the time I'm okay with what we're doing and the things I'm saying to my kids, and can't wait for the day that they say them to theirs.